rikke_leonhart | Fic: Stars

Title: Adjacent (VI)
Universe: Stars
Pairing(s): Ohmiya
Rating: PG-13 for now
Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. Unfortunately.
Summary: Two months after Ohno left, Nino feels his absence keenly.
Author's Notes: I TOLD YOU IT WOULD APPEAR SOON, DIDN'T I? *proud*

*
Nino couldn’t even remember how he had passed his days before Ohno had come into his life. It sounded pathetic, Nino conceded, but it didn’t make it less true. He walked past the temple every day, hoping to catch sight of a slender figure walking around in the gardens.

His mother had given up trying to figure out what was wrong.

He had been, and was still, such an idiot, he could admit as much. He had foolishly thought that the pain would lessen with time, but it had manifested as a throbbing ache. He’d just have to wait.

It’d been two months. Was Ohno healthy? Happy? Was he with anyone? With Machida? Nino’s head spun with the countless possibilities.

“Nino,” Sho greeted warmly when Nino opened the door.

“Welcome back,” Nino grinned, hugging Sho tightly. “How was the trip?”

“Fine,” Sho said, “exciting!”

“Good.”

“Nino,” Sho said with an exasperated sigh. “I know you’re dying to ask.”

“I am not,” Nino denied, turning and fully expecting Sho to follow, which Sho did.

Once in Nino’s room, Sho stood by the window, watching Nino sit down by the desk.

Sho rolled his eyes. “Nino.”

“Sho.”

“Nino.”

“Sho.”

“Nino, seriously, just ask. Idiot.”

“Hey,” Nino said, looking offended. “Ask what?”

Sho threw his arms out in a defeated manner and turned to the door. “You’re always so difficult.”

Nino bit his lip. “Sorry.”

Sho turned to Nino again, looking expectant. “I won’t say anything unless you ask.”

Taking a deep calming breath, Nino’s eyes met Sho’s. “How was he?”

Sho had been with his father on a business trip for two weeks – Kyoto being one of their destinations.

“He looked good,” Sho said, smiling gently. “Thinner than I remembered, but he’s doing well. He asked about you.”

Involuntarily, Nino felt something flutter at the pit of his stomach. “Really?”

Sho sniffed, “And of course, I told him that you were miserable and pathetic and wanted to marry him- OW!!”

“Serves you right,” Nino gloated as Sho rubbed his shoulder where Nino had thrown a paper weight at him.

“Seriously, that’s dangerous,” Sho complained. “Of course I didn’t say that!”

“I know you didn’t,” Nino grinned. “So, what did you say?”

Sho looked horribly wronged. “That hurt.”

“Get over it.”

Sho looked like he wanted to say ‘likewise,’ but he refrained from doing so.

“What did you tell him?” Nino prompted.

“I told him that you were fine and that you were healthy.”

Nino simultaneously drew a breath of relief and felt a pang of disappointment. Sho truly hadn’t said anything of significance, and how much could he read into Ohno asking about him? Was Ohno just being polite or was he truly interested in how Nino was?

Nino sat down on his futon and let himself fall backwards.

“Are you alright?”

Nino smiled wryly. “I wish you all would stop asking me that.”

“We have to,” Sho responded in a no-nonsense tone. “You’re completely miserable.”

“I’m not ‘completely’ miserable!” Nino protested, but it sounded weak, even to his own ears.

“Okay, so not quite completely. But we’ve seen you much happier.”

“Do we have to talk about this?”

Sho shrugged. “We could talk about how you’re expected to dinner at Jun’s later?”

Nino frowned. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

“That’s because I just got told to invite you,” Sho grinned. “I just came from there.”

“You didn’t come here directly when you got home?” Nino gasped. “Sho-kun, I’m so hurt!”

Sho raised an eyebrow. “I honestly didn’t want to carry all the stuff I brought him all the way here first.”

“Stuff?”

Sho winced. “You know, all the usual stuff. Bathing salts, robes and what not. I’d rather not bring it with me everywhere.”

Nino laughed.

“Okay, I’ll choose to ignore that you’re laughing at me in favor of the fact that you’re laughing at last.”

“Sho, just shut up,” Nino groaned before getting to his feet. “Dinner at Matsujun’s?”

*
Nino had no idea how he would have got through these months if it hadn’t been for his three idiotic friends. He smiled as he looked at them, all of them slouched on the balcony of Jun’s house. Sho was snoring softly, leaning against Aiba’s side. Aiba’s mouth was curved into a gentle smile as he stared at the starless night sky.

Jun was looking at Nino and Nino was ignoring him.

The night sky reminded him of Ohno, of the countless talks they had had. Nino missed it, he wanted the talks back, the presence back and everything that came with it. Perhaps he should just aim lower for a while, and be satisfied with remembering everything he had experienced with Ohno.

The sky, for starters, would always remind him of Ohno.

Jun shifted beside him, no doubt trying to get him to react.

“I have something for you,” Jun said softly.

“Bathing salts?”

“Ha ha,” Jun said dryly. “But I could get you that instead, though I think you’d prefer the other thing.”

“So if you tell me, I can choose,” Nino said, smartly.

“Doesn’t work like that,” Jun snorted. “That’d be completely unfair.”

“Do you want me to guess, then?”

Jun’s eyes softened. “No, that wouldn’t be fair either.”

Nino watched as Jun got to his feet and slipped inside the house for a few minutes. When Jun came back, he was holding something in a closed fist and was holding it out for Nino to take.

Nino reached out and in his hand, Jun placed something surprisingly heavy for such a small object.

Nino closed his fingers around it, puzzled, for a long moment before he looked at Jun.

Jun shrugged. “Sho gave it to me, but it’s not for me.”

Nino turned his hand and opened his hand, looking at his palm. He felt deep confusion, before realization suddenly dawned upon him.

He remembered two months ago, that night at the festival, Ohno picking up a stone. Nino looked down at the stone in his hand, once rough, but now perfectly polished and smooth. It fit perfectly in his hand and was astonishingly pretty, a dull red colour with a golden glimmer.

Nino hadn’t known that Ohno had kept the, at first glance, very ordinary stone. He wouldn’t have known that the stone had such a hidden beauty.

Had Ohno known?

Nino smiled.

Jun watched him for a long moment. “If you could,” he started softly, “would you go back?”

Nino held the stone in his hand against his heart. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’ve spent so much time regretting everything, blaming myself and Ohno, but I feel that…maybe this is okay, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he tried to explain, “I used to disagree with Ohno-kun when he said that he didn’t believe in choices. It’s opportunities and fate, right?”

Jun nodded.

Nino continued. “So, perhaps, it’s okay regretting, but if it’s just an opportunity I didn’t take…then that would mean that there’ll be other opportunities.”

“Are we talking about life or Satoshi-kun?”

Nino threw him a wry look. “Don’t be stupid.”

Jun huffed. “You never know.”

“I’m not going to lie or pretend anymore,” Nino said. “I want it and I want him. If that’s an opportunity, I’ll take it.”

Jun blinked. “You’re sappy.”

“Shut up,” Nino retorted without any real bite and looked up at the sky. “If Ohno-kun doesn’t want it, fine, but I won’t deny that I want it.”

Jun averted his eyes for a moment, apparently reaching a decision as he looked up. “I need to show you something. Come on.”

He got to his feet and offered his hand to Nino.

Moments later, having left two snoring people on the balcony, Nino found himself in Jun’s room, watching Jun rummage through chests filled with smaller boxes. Jun took out one box and blew the dust off it.

He opened the box and took out a bundle of papers. He studied one of the papers before holding it out for Nino to see. Nino sat down next to Jun, taking the paper.

“Satoshi,” Jun said, “drew this.”

Nino stared at the drawing, his hands starting to tremble. His voice shook. “When?”

“When he was eight.”

Nino didn’t know what to think. “Have you known…all this time?”

Jun shook his head. “I remembered a few days ago. I haven’t thought about it or looked at it since I was seven.”

“This is- I don’t even-” Nino broke off, his breath catching in his throat.

“I know,” Jun said, looking bright and honest. He searched Nino’s eyes. “No regrets.”

And Nino all but ran out of the room, the drawing in his hand.

*
Nino entered the room, out of breath. He looked around, finding everything exactly as it had become two months earlier.

The books, the papers, the telescope.

Fully equipped and furnished, but empty.

With the stone in one hand, the drawing in the other, Nino slid to the floor. “You knew…” he whispered.

He sat there for long moments.

A soothing breeze flittered through the room and Nino’s eyes fluttered, a pleasant warmth settling in his stomach. He knew he was alone, but it didn’t feel like loneliness.

“Would you come back?” Nino asked. “If I told you I loved you, would you stay?”

The room held no answers, but the breeze embraced him gently. Comforting and warm, it made his eyes water and a lone tear escaped the corner of his eye, trailing a single path down his cheek, stopping by his jaw line.

As the tear fell, the warm, gentle wind dried his skin and he stood up, walking up to the window. He looked at the sky, seeing a few stars shining brightly.

“Stay,” he said even as the breeze picked up and almost stole his breath away before it died out.

He looked around the Star room, remembering the many moments he had spent in here, just talking. And hiding how he felt. The corners of his lips involuntarily twitched.

He had been happy.

He didn’t even feel silly as he lowered his head and whispered a prayer to whichever deity listening, and he walked over to the desk Ohno used to work on. He bit his lip as he laid the drawing there, feeling reluctant to leave it.

He quickly looked up as something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. His heart hammered wildly in his chest as he scrambled back to the window, looking into the garden and he felt hope flickering madly in his chest. His eyes frantically searched for what he had seen, but the garden was quiet.

He cursed himself. He should have known.

He tore his gaze away from the garden, unable to calm his racing heart. He walked to the door, and in the doorway, he turned once more to look at the room. He couldn’t help it. He smiled and turned to leave, the stone clutched in his hand.

And froze. The stone fell from his hand.

Before he knew it his body was moving on its own accord, moving forward, his arms winding, his entire frame grasping, seizing.

It had to be a dream.

Did he say that out loud?

Arms wrapped around him, he buried his face and he blinked into the warm skin.

Gone were the dreams of him spotting Ohno and running into his arms. For two months, he’d dreamed and hoped and pleaded for this, for Ohno’s forgiveness.

“You weren’t wrong,” Nino rasped, “and I saw the drawing, all this time-”

Ohno nodded and Nino bit back a sob.

“I hurt you,” Nino gasped, “you let me hurt you.”

He pulled back to look at Ohno, his hands reaching for Ohno’s face, desperately seeking for any differences, his fingers tracing the corners of Ohno’s gentle eyes.

“You needed to,” Ohno said solemnly, not caring that Nino was touching his face all over.

Nino wrapped his arms around Ohno’s frame again, holding him so tightly he feared Ohno would break.

“There’s so much I want to say,” Nino said, his eyelashes fluttering wetly against Ohno’s neck.

“We have time,” Ohno replied, tightening his own grip on Nino.

Nino refused to let go, even when Ohno tried to move them. Their footing was awkward and they shifted when Nino nearly lost his balance.

“Nino,” Ohno said softly, and Nino nearly wept at the way Ohno could say his name. “You have to let go.”

Nino tensed his grip.

Ohno chuckled. “’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I love you,” Nino said.

Ohno didn’t say anything to that, instead he tried once again to get Nino to loosen his grip. One of his hands tangled with Nino’s, tugging at it.

He bent down and picked up the stone.

“Come on, we can’t stay here all night,” Ohno cooed, gently pulling Nino with him. He led Nino through the gardens, though Nino couldn’t have cared less where they were going. Ohno could have led him to his end and Nino wouldn’t protest. Ohno’s hand was warm and smooth in his own and Nino squeezed.

“I’m going to kill Sho,” Nino mumbled.

“He didn’t know,” Ohno said and kept walking. “And I couldn’t tell you.”

“Why? Why did you let that happen?”

Ohno looked down at their entwined fingers. “Some things need to happen,” he offered.

Nino stopped, their fingers parting. “Satoshi, I love you,” he said, insistently.

Ohno nodded, not stopping. “I know.”

“If you knew, you could have told me,” Nino implored.

“You wouldn’t have understood,” Ohno said, finally stopping. “I’ve known since I was a child, and I still don’t understand.”

“You could have said something,” Nino insisted, almost pleading.

“What would you have done? I tried, Kazu,” Ohno sighed tiredly. “I did what I could. When I met you, would you’ve wanted me to say that I’ve seen you in my dreams since I was a child?”

At last, he turned to look at Nino. “It doesn’t work like that.”

Somewhere in Nino’s mind, it all made sense.

“If I had told you,” Ohno continued, stepping closer to Nino, “would you have believed me? You don’t believe.”

Nino ducked his head. He’d probably have been completely starry-eyed at first, if Ohno had told him from the beginning, but he’d probably just write it off as religious hocus pocus in the long run.

“It needed to be your own thoughts,” Ohno said, his eyes alive and voice genuine. “It had to happen when you were ready.”

“You can’t force it,” Nino muttered, remembering Aiba’s words from months ago.

“This is your choice,” Ohno said and Nino narrowed his eyes.

“It’s not about choices,” he returned and Ohno conceded the point.

Nino closed the remaining steps between them, searching Ohno’s eyes for something, he didn’t know what. He felt some of the desperation return, the desperate hope and joy and relief and nerves he had felt when he had seen Ohno. He wanted to be closer, closer, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t ever be close enough.

The sky was dark and offered no light at all, making Ohno’s face appear shrouded, features dim and haunting.

“This has never felt wrong,” Nino said and reached out for Ohno. An Ohno much thinner than he had remembered, slightly shorter hair and eyes more intense than he’d ever seen.

“What do you want?” Ohno asked, meeting Nino’s fingers with his own.

“I want you,” Nino said earnestly. “But what do you want?”

Ohno shook his head as if Nino had missed an obvious point.

Nino sighed in exasperation. “You make this so hard,” he hissed.

Ohno shook his head again. “I don’t mean to, you’re taking this the wrong way.”

“Then tell me how I’m supposed to see it?”

“Kazu,” Ohno said with perfect sincerity, “I’ve been dreaming about you my entire life. I’m here now, with you. With you.”

“But you left,” Nino said, voice breaking.

Ohno urged Nino to look at him. “I thought… Nothing was as I had seen it happen,” he said in a low voice. “I really thought that the Gods had left me.”

Nino could see Ohno visibly struggling with his words.

“But,” Ohno continued, open and vulnerable, “if not you…who else?”

Ohno turned Nino’s palm upwards and placed the stone in his hand.

And if Nino hadn’t kissed Ohno then, he was certain that some gods would have punished him severely.

*
“Jun-kun, don’t worry so much, I’m sure he’s okay,” Aiba said, trying to Jun to slow down.

“I’m not worried,” Jun snapped. “It’s just because he didn’t come back last night to say goodbye. That was rude.”

Sho rolled his eyes and laughed when Aiba pounced on Jun.

“Jun-chan is cute when he worries,” Aiba sang and giggled when Jun tried to shove him off.

“Aiba-chan, get off, I won’t hesitate to scratch your eyes out.”

“Mean,” Aiba sang but didn’t let go. “You looooove me, Jun-pon~”

Sho held his breath as he waited for the deathblow, but Jun sighed in a defeated manner and kept walking.

“Just don’t kill him,” Sho said when he fell in step with Jun. “I don’t know what you said to him last night, but he was obviously upset.”

They neared the Ninomiya household and stepped onto the path leading through the garden and up to the house.

“I hope I didn’t kill him with what I did last night,” Jun muttered and stopped so abruptly that Aiba crashed into him, giggling loudly.

Jun hushed him furiously and pointed. Deeper in the garden, on the steps leading up to the sunroom, two figures sat huddled against each other, kissing softly.

“I didn’t need to see that,” Jun deadpanned, while Aiba hugged Sho in triumph.

Nino opened his eyes as he pulled back, needing to breathe. “Ah,” he said, grinning at Ohno’s dazed look. “We have company.”

Ohno turned slightly and waved.

Aiba made a show of covering Jun’s eyes as they approached.

“Jun is still innocent,” Aiba explained and beamed at Nino. “Does this mean that you’ll be sucking face every time we see you?”

Jun whacked him over the head and Sho restrained him from further violence.

“If I get my way,” Nino grinned, blushing prettily, and laced his fingers with Ohno’s, holding them none too discreetly for everyone to see.

Jun hauled Ohno to his feet and embraced the smaller man tightly. “It’s good to see you,” he said.

Aiba joined. “Nino has been moping.”

“Have not,” Nino muttered.

Sho patted Ohno’s shoulder when the older man flailed a bit, probably to breathe better. “You should have seen Nino, he was miserable and pathetic, and he wanted to ma- OW, would you stop doing that?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nino said, feigning perfect innocence. “You’re suffocating him, so hand him over. Now.”

“Touchy,” Jun remarked but didn’t protest when Nino unwound several pairs of arms from Ohno.

Nino knew that he was never going to live this down, but he hadn’t felt this happy ever.

“Promise you won’t be disgusting all the time,” Jun said seriously as Nino slid his arm around Ohno’s waist.

Nino laughed and kissed Ohno once more.

AN: I hope all of you have all your teeth left and that they haven't rotted away from all the fluff. This is the part I promised myself not to write until much MUCH later - the long overdue confession. I hope it didn't disappoint, because this was how it was meant to be, I think. Besides, I can't make my OTP suffer for long xD
Ah, I'll better concentrate on the Ohmiya-challenge now!!
And, I'm not doubting that everyone has figured out what Ohno had drawn, that Nino got to see, but if not, let me hear your guesses!

Again, take care of yourselves :)

Current Music: Rosenstolz - Ich Bin Ich

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

dreamfadesaway.livejournal.com

AW ♥♥♥
What a wonderful confession! Now I understand much better why Ohno left. Fated love is so beautiful. But maybe a bit complicated. Ohno waiting for Nino all this time;__;
But the rest of Arashi are themselves as always xD I like the way Sho sounded like a real mother ' “Seriously, that’s dangerous,” Sho complained. ' aw xD

If it wasn't a painting of Nino I don't know. I'm slow x_x but I like that you don't always write everything out but leave some parts for the imagination. Sometimes you don't need to know everything.

Lol now this is keeping me from sleeping again. But it was totally worth it♥

From:

rikke-leonhart.livejournal.com

Yay, I'm so happy you liked it!!

I had problems with conveying everything, I feel. I think that there's still some things missing, but ah well, I still have something to write about then!
But, I hope that it comes through that Ohno emphazises that he doesn't understand it either, that everything can still happen.

Yes, it's a drawing of Nino. It's my next drawing-project to do that drawing.

Thank you so much <3
I hope you got to sleep~

we must go, we must go

Fic: Stars - Adjacent

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