Fic: Anywhere Is // alternate ending

[rikke_leonhart]

The ending of Anywhere Is that didn't quite make the cut (or rather, it lost out when I flipped a coin ;) ) And Koyama wanted me to post it.

The conversation between Nino and Ohno in the church falls out a bit differently.

*
Nino had never imagined Ohno getting married in a church. To be honest, though, he’d never imagined Ohno getting married at all. He looked up at the church – modest but pretty, and even from outside, Nino knew that it was Ohno’s choice of venue. It reeked of simplicity and Ohno.

Honestly, Nino didn’t know what he was doing here or how he was going to pull this off. He was convinced that the moment he saw Ohno, he’d be reminded of tender and heated touches shared in his darkened bedroom. But it didn’t matter, because Ohno was hell bent on marrying this woman and Nino wouldn’t protest. He’d said his objections, done what he could and it hadn’t changed a thing.

The chance had been missed. He hadn’t even noticed it flying past.

A hand closed around his elbow and he looked up at Aiba’s face.

“Let’s get inside before someone sees us,” he murmured and Nino agreed. It was low-key enough to not attract any unwanted attention, but they could never be too sure. Nino was pretty certain that Ohno’s press conference months ago hadn’t revealed any details of an upcoming wedding.

Better safe than sorry even if Nino for a split-second wished that the press would get something to talk about. He chuckled dryly. He was being mean.

“You’re doing that creepy thing,” Aiba informed him lowly, but he was grinning. “You look scary.”

“I am scary,” Nino agreed as they climbed the few steps to the church, “even if I’m no match for Matsujun.”

Aiba laughed. “He’s in a class of his own.”

And wasn’t that the truth. After all, wasn’t Jun almost the entire reason why he hadn’t told any of them about everything they’d done? The prospect of facing Jun’s disappointment seemed much worse than facing a lifetime of regret for not stopping Ohno or doing anything about it. Jun loved them all so much. If Nino could make someone not regret this entire mess, Arashi was deserving of it.

Inside the church, he realized that most people were in place already.

“Jun-kun and Sho-kun are already here,” Aiba said softly, steering him the right way to their seats. “They’re talking to Leader.”

Nino’s heart skipped in disappointment. He’d somehow hoped that Ohno just wouldn’t show up at all. It was also really annoying that they all apparently assumed that Nino wouldn’t want to talk to Ohno now before the actual ceremony. They assumed rightly, but that was beside the point.

“You look like you’re going to a funeral,” Aiba remarked, his voice concerned, and Nino plastered a smile on his face even knowing that Aiba would see right through it. “You have to smile. It’s a wedding. It’s Oh-chan’s wedding.”

“Funeral, wedding, it might be the same thing,” he muttered and pressed his knuckles to Aiba’s in apology. Aiba wasn’t deserving of his gloom and bad temper.

“We’re going to talk, after this,” Aiba returned, glancing at him as they sat down. “You’re not being yourself. Something is wrong.”

Nino shrugged. Everything was wrong, not just something. It would only be an hour now, and then everything would be a mess, but one he couldn’t get out of even if he tried. He was just irrationally relieved that this wasn’t his own wedding, because then something had been very wrong. Ohno might have done a lot of shitty things lately, but at least he’d saved Nino from making a huge mistake and dooming himself and Miho to being wrong for the rest of their lives, because Nino just didn’t do divorces. It simply wasn’t an option.

He was saved from further comments by Jun’s arrival. He looked grim, face pale and set.

“What’s happening?”

Jun shook his head almost imperceptibly. “I hope he’s not doing the wrong thing.”

Aiba drew himself forward so he could look at Jun properly. “Where’s Sho-chan?”

“Still with Satoshi-kun. I think he’ll throw himself in the way if Satoshi bolts for the door.”

Aiba chuckled, but it was an uncertain amusement. “Is he that nervous?”

“I don’t think nervous quite cuts it,” Jun quipped and glanced at Nino. “It’s not that he doesn’t want to, I think, it’s more that he’s realized the magnitude of everything.”

“That’s Ohno Satoshi for you,” Nino inserted quietly. “But he’ll do it because he set his mind to it. You know how he is.”

He made a quick decision. “I’ll be right back.”

“Nino,” Jun hissed, apparently very well aware of where Nino was headed, but despite his obvious misgivings, he didn’t do anything stop Nino from passing him and leaving their seats. He ducked his head as he walked past the other guests, ignoring glances. Just about everyone was seated now, so why would he be heading in the opposite direction?

He ducked into a side door, and he immediately spotted Sho, leaning against a wall, his arms crossed. As he entered the room, Sho looked up and he nodded at him.

“Where’s- Oh, Oh-chan.”

Ohno stood there, looking positively edible in his dark grey suit and white shirt. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Nino,” Ohno said, almost in disbelief, almost as if he couldn’t believe Nino actually showed up. He hadn’t seen Ohno since they’d slept together, and he’d been right – the memory burnt along his skin with invisible intensity. “You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here,” Nino said smoothly. “I wouldn’t miss my Leader’s wedding.”

Ohno swallowed visibly and then looked down as if he couldn’t quite meet Nino’s eyes.

“I’ll go out to the others,” Sho said softly from the side, and he stepped up to clasp Ohno’s shoulder, hug him briefly. Nino thought it looked like Sho was trying to give him strength.

Even if he’d been blind, Nino would’ve been able to see the tension in Ohno’s body. He was highly strung, like a bow. Jun was right; he did look like he was ready to bolt at any moment as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

“You’re not thinking of running, are you?”

Ohno took a deep breath. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t now. I owe everything to her.”

“Can you do this, though?” Nino had to admit that maybe he wasn’t as done as he’d thought with trying to convince Ohno that this was a bad idea. “Have you told her?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Ohno hissed lowly and looked up. “Would you?”

“Tell your fiancée? Yes, of course,” Nino said airily, but he turned serious when he saw Ohno’s answering frown. “It’s not about me anymore. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ohno frowned in confusion.

“About the accident,” Nino clarified softly. “That you’d seen the pictures of me and Miho.”

It was a long shot; Nino wasn’t entirely sure that this was what had made Ohno drink to forget, but he had nothing to lose now. Absolutely nothing. If he couldn’t convince Ohno not to marry Fukumori, then there were no more chances of getting him back to Arashi either.

He had absolutely nothing more to lose.

Clenching his jaw, Ohno averted his eyes and Nino’s widened.

“Am I right? Was that why you got so drunk?”

Apparently, Ohno had also come to the realization that they had nothing more to lose, because he uncrossed his arms, shrugging. “Wouldn’t you want to forget? Knowing that the person in the world that you never wanted to hurt, but had anyway, had moved on?”

“But I told you,” Nino insisted, short on breath, suddenly, “you didn’t hurt me!”

“I didn’t know that at the time,” Ohno objected. “And I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to be happy for you, but it was difficult. In the end, I could’ve handled it better than I did. I met Eri because of that. It wasn’t a complete disaster after all.”

“She’s turned you into someone else,” Nino insisted. “Don’t you see? She hates Arashi. How can you marry a girl who doesn’t like us? Not us persons, but what we are? What you are, still, somewhere.”

“Can you blame her?” Ohno managed to say before someone knocked on the door.

“Ohno-san, are you alright in there?”

“I’ll be out shortly,” Ohno returned, turning back to Nino. “You can’t fault her for not wanting to get tangled up in that industry.”

“She should have been aware of that before she got involved with you. The risk of being found out has been there from the beginning. She can’t not have known.”

“She doesn’t love the industry. She loves me. There’s a difference. Should I repay her with returning to the industry, in which I probably wouldn’t even be able to function anymore?”

Nino walked up to him, half-expecting him to step back, half-hoping he’d stay in place. “What do you owe her? Why does she have this hold over you?”

Ohno tilted his head in clear annoyance. “I love her. I’m in love with her. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Do you love her like you love me?”

It wasn’t fair for him to ask, but he had nothing to lose.

Ohno definitely wasn’t expecting that question, and he opened and closed his mouth several times. “I’m in love with her.”

“Not what I’m asking,” Nino pressed, stepping closer and gripping Ohno’s arms. “Are you in love with me?”

Ohno was silent, and then, softly, quietly, almost inaudible. Vulnerable like glass; “Yes.”

All fight drained from Nino’s body. He’d been waiting to hear that for years, but now that he had it fresh in mind, confirmed for his heart to rejoice, he only felt overwhelmingly empty.

“I owe her to stay and fight for this,” Ohno continued. “I’m in love with two people, but I can’t have both. I owe my life to her. I can’t fail her now when she saved me from going insane. I thought, that if you could move on with someone, then I could, too.”

“But I didn’t move on,” Nino murmured, letting his arms fall. “I never did. You should’ve stayed.”

“I know, but I didn’t. We can’t go back, no matter how much we want to,” Ohno said softly, “things are as they are and we can’t change them now. She deserves the best of what I can give to her, and I’ll try my best.”

Nino frowned. “Does she deserve you loving someone else?”

“I love her, too,” Ohno said. “I really do love her.”

His breath was shaky when he exhaled and his hands trembled. “So this is it.”

It felt so final. Nino didn’t like the feeling of finality. It seemed so harsh and too sudden, and Nino was wholly unprepared.

Ohno nodded and reached for Nino’s neck. “This is it.”

“I love you,” Nino said, though the words seemed so insignificant now. Didn’t Ohno know already? He’d fought so hard because his heart had known this years before he’d realized it properly.

He could see every inch of Ohno’s skin as Ohno moved closer, and for a fleeting second, he thought that Ohno was going to kiss him. But Ohno just leaned against him, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Nino closed his eyes and then pulled away. He reached up to grab hold of Ohno’s tie. “It’s crooked.”

The smile on Ohno’s lips was shaky, but it didn’t give.

“It’s enough,” Nino decided with irrevocability. “Be good to her. Tell her things. Be honest with her. Even if you think the matters are trivial, talk to her.”

Ohno nodded.

“Promise me, Satoshi, that you’ll be good to her. And she has to be good to you, too. I’m not giving this up for her to screw up.”

Ohno blurted a laugh and Nino managed a smile. With a final tug, he let go of the tie. “Promise me this, if nothing else.”

“I promise.”

*
Nino watched Ohno get married.

*

Comments

[rikke-leonhart.livejournal.com]

There's something about this ending that I like better, too, but oh well.