Fic: Two times Nino and Ohno very nearly broke up and one time they definitely didn't

[rikke_leonhart]

Title: Two times Nino and Ohno very nearly broke up and one time they definitely didn't 
Pairing(s): Ohno/Nino
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nuh-uh!
Word count: ~4,700
Summary: Two times Nino and Ohno very nearly broke up and one time they definitely didn't.
Author's Notes: For arashifanatic for her generous donation for the fundraising on Arashi_On. I'm so sorry for the delay, I've had a gigantic writer's block for all things Arashi. This was sparked by a conversation with my bee-eff-eff, and what it turned out to be is because of her general awesomeness. 

*

Nino and Ohno have been kind of solid ever since 2005, when Ohno is getting kind of serious about a girl and Nino gets sort of pissed. Because Nino is a jealous thing, and even if he’d been the one to kiss Ohno first, Ohno had kissed back, but that hadn’t led to anything at all, because Nino is not sure he has anything to offer that Ohno can’t get better anywhere else.

So when Ohno tells him, quietly and to the side, that maybe perhaps possibly he could make it with this girl, or at least do a decent attempt at it, Nino loses it. His fists tighten, the blood drains from his face, and he yells that Oh-chan, you great big idiot, can’t you see that I love you?

And yes, when put that way, Ohno can kind of see it, and he’s not protesting when Nino pushes him flush against the wall and kisses him like he maybe has dreamed of for a really really long time, actually since that one time he’d dared and that hadn’t led to anything at all.

And they’re steady, they’re solid, and everyone thinks they’re offensively, disgustingly in love. Nino is kind of smug about that. They don’t live together, because they’re not that stupid. The risk of anyone, anyone at all, getting wind of that is just way too high and they don’t want to jeopardize anything.

Besides, Ohno always says with a chuckle, Nino will get tired of living with Ohno, and Nino wants to disagree, but he can’t, because oh dear heavens Ohno is such a weird guy. He’s lazy, he’s introverted, he’s accidentally insensitive, and really, it’s probably for the best for everyone that they don’t live together.

But in 2008, Nino feels that maybe it’s time, maybe they’re ready to finally make that commitment they haven’t yet, because they’ve been steady for years now, they’ve loved each other for far more, and their general security level has risen exponentially as Arashi somehow garners more attention than the stagnated level they’d rested on for some time.

So Nino wonders. If he’s honest about it, he dreams about it, how it’d be like to actually, seriously, live with Ohno. He’s seen Ohno at all times of the day, every week, every month, every year for years, almost a decade. He thinks that maybe it’s not that big of a deal, and also that it will be kind of nice to not have to always schedule time to be together. They can just go home and maybe their time there will happen to coincide. He dreams of how much snuggling and cuddling they can get away with.

Also, if he’s still being honest, he’s worried that they won’t get to see each other now that it seems they’re going to be all over the place, and living together makes sense in Nino’s head.

So Nino starts planning. Annoyingly enough, it’s not just a question of whether or not Ohno wants to live with him (which he definitely wants to, dammit, Nino thinks of giving him an ultimatum), and the first person he asks is not Ohno. It’s not even Ohno’s mother, who, Nino supposes, is who he really should be asking, but rather, it’s Johnny Himself. Nino is, thank you very much, not an idiot. He knows that if their relationship has survived this far, it’s not just because they have managed to not piss each other off, but also due to the fact that Johnny hasn’t judged them to be far too much of a risk to the general career of them all.

Johnny, Nino thinks, is too much of an old bastard to actually tell them that he likes them. Instead, he lets Nino sit and sweat for far too many dragged out minutes until he tells the documents on the desk, rather than Nino himself, that really, if Nino thinks that he and Ohno can manage not to kill each other and destroy everyone in the entire JE and the world in the process, then okay, he supposes they can move in and get tired of each other. And in the same breath, he tells Nino that he has a script ready for a drama in the fall, and he better do it well.

The unspoken or I’ll make you cry is, just that, unspoken. That old bastard.

Next step is asking Ohno’s mother. The woman, bless her soul, is kind and generous (because God knows that Ohno has to have his gentle soul from somewhere), but she is a scary fucker when she wants to be. Where Johnny hadn’t deigned him a mere look, she stares him down over the brim of her reading glasses, and if he’d thought that Johnny made him sweat, this woman is making him melt. He tries not to squirm.

“And you’ll make sure he eats?” She asks, but what she really says is and then you’re planning on corrupting him, you filthy worm.

“Yes,” he squeaks.

“And make sure he doesn’t do stupid things,” she asks and narrows her eyes in that way that really means but you’re really going to encourage stupid things, aren’t you, you massive douche?

“Of course,” Nino squeaks again and tries to wipe the palm of his hands on his pants without her noticing.

She smiles kindly, but all Nino sees is the baring of teeth and did the temperature in the room suddenly rise? His palms are still clammy and the back of his shirt clings uncomfortably to his skin. The sweat is beginning to trickle at his hairline, and he prays to God, to someone, to whoever is listening, that please, let him get away from this alive.

“I guess,” she says, in that passive aggressive way that makes Nino’s hair stand on end, “that it’ll be good to get that guest room we’ve been talking about for ages. Take good care of him.”

Or else I’ll find really inventive ways to make you cry.

It seems that people really wants to see him cry these days.

And those were the two biggest hurdles, now he just needs the last really big one.

Aiba thinks it’s fantastic. Sho frowns but doesn’t deny it’ll be nice to maybe not have to disinfect the greenroom every week. Jun, however, is the biggest problem, because he has something that most other people lack. Logic and reason. And extremely persuasive ways.

However, in this case he also has one really unfortunate weakness. Ohno.

“But if it makes him happy,” Nino presses, one ear in the hallway to listen for Ohno’s shuffling feet. “If it makes him happy, you have to admit it’ll be more convenient.”

Jun is terribly unimpressed. “Convenience is the selling point, is that it?”

Nino frowns, insulted. “What? No, are you an idiot? I love him, you jerk. Isn’t that enough?”

“I suppose,” Jun muses. “Have you even asked him?”

“It’s not like he has a choice is it?” Nino shrugs. “Does he want a choice?” And then with dawning horror. “Oh my god, he has a choice. He can say no.”

Jun whacks him over the head. “Of course he’ll say yes. Three years, remember?”

“Plus,” Nino adds.

Jun raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Three years plus. A bit, I mean.”

“I seriously don’t even want to know, so don’t tell me,” Jun closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, as if Nino’s shenanigans bring him physical pain. “Just shut up.”

“I think there was the time just when you were outside – ”

“Nino, shut up, shut up, shut up!”

And maybe it’s Nino’s overconfidence, complimentarily boosted by Jun, that leads to the fact that Ohno reacts completely opposite of how Nino expects and wants him to.

Nino blinks. “What do you mean, ‘no’? That’s not a valid answer!”

Ohno looks apologetic, truly, but he doesn’t let up, and he completely blindsides Nino by, for once, being argumentative and ready for discussion. “I’m sorry, Kazu,” he says, “but don’t you think it’s a bad idea?”

“I think it’s a fantastic idea. We’d see each other more, and yes, that one counts as a positive, and we’d be able to do stupid, disgusting domestic stuff.”

“Nino,” Ohno says in that tone that, had it come from anyone else on the entire planet, would’ve been condescending as fuck, but since it’s Ohno it sounds sweet and worried and genuinely good. Fuck, Nino is in love with him. “Nino, I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“We’ve barely seen each other since Christmas,” Nino says sourly, and he backtracks with a wince at Ohno’s vaguely hurt look. “I know you’ve been busy with your stageplay, but it still sucks.”

“Nino,” Ohno says again. “It’s like that for me every year. You get used to it. Besides, you know that I have that drama coming up, so it wouldn’t get better even if we did live together.”

Nino blinks, suddenly unsure. “You really don’t want to live with me?”

“I do want to live with you at some point, but not right now. It’s going to be stupidly hectic, probably, and then we’ll not see each other. I don’t even know how I’ll be during filming, probably super stressed and comatose.”

“So you’re saying,” Nino says, feeling strangely hollow and only hearing excuses, “that you don’t want to put that much strain on our relationship?”

“What I’m saying,” Ohno stresses, “is that we should wait, at least until after the summer.”

“But then I’m going to be in a drama,” Nino responds, and now he’s feeling anger simmer just beneath his skin, flowing through all his nerves. “And then it’s Christmas. I’ll bet you anything that you’re going to have truckload of new excuses come Christmas.”

Ohno takes a deep breath. “I’m not making excuses. Look, all I’m saying is that you haven’t thought it through, probably.”

Nino swears. And then swears that this isn’t the last Ohno has heard of this. And it isn’t, because Nino brings it up every day, several times a day, for weeks, but if Nino had been hoping to wear him down eventually, he’s disappointed. Ohno stands resilient, and Nino isn’t even surprised, if he’s honest, because Ohno is the most infuriatingly stubborn man he’s ever met. And to think he’s dating that man willingly… Nino questions his own judgment at times.

So they discuss and argue and at times, Nino fears that this is it, this is the moment where Ohno has had enough of this and of them, because before he brought that stupid thing up, they never argued. Maybe Ohno is right, maybe they’re not ready to make this kind of commitment with the lives they’re leading, but then Nino’s own stubbornness kicks in, and he reasons that they only argue so fiercely because Ohno is making things far more difficult than they need to be. It all boils down to everything being Ohno’s fault, really, but he makes the mistake of saying that to Ohno one day and Ohno freezes, then his fists tighten, and for one horrifying moment, Nino wonders if Ohno actually has it in him to hit someone.

But then Ohno turns on his heel and leaves.

Ohno doesn’t text him I love you that night and Nino doesn’t know whether or not they can save this, if he’s finally pushed Ohno too far. And dammit, Ohno had been right, because when Ohno’s drama starts, Ohno is stressed and thin and keeling over from fatigue and it’s as if someone has pressed the mute button on him.

Nino doesn’t see him for two days, and it’s only out of obligation to the rest of them that he shows up for filming on the third day, and it’s somehow worse than if he hadn’t, because Ohno is there, but he isn’t. They’re professionals at this by now, so every time the small red lights flashes, they’re all easy camaraderie, but as soon as the camera is off, so is Ohno, and he’s whisked away with a script under his arm before Nino can even begin to make amends.

“Just text him,” Sho says softly just before the car stops in front of Sho’s house. “He’ll answer.”

“I wouldn’t text me after half the things I said,” Nino admits, and he feels empty, because Ohno’s arms haven’t held him for days, he hasn’t been able to press his nose against the soft patch of skin beneath Ohno’s ear, and he feels like he’s starving, a hunger he can’t quench.

“He loves you,” Sho assures him and doesn’t say any half-formed lies like I bet he said things he regrets as well, because it would be filthy lies. Ohno doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean, even when Nino feels cornered, trapped, and lashes out with vicious words when he’s hurt. “Give him time, then. But text him. You both look like you’re facing ten funerals.”

Nino holds his phone in his hands, cradles it between his palms, and he almost drops it when it goes off, but it’s not Ohno, it’s not Ohno, it’s not Ohno, and Nino loses interest as quickly as it’d arrived. He taps out a short three-worded text and his thumb hovers all night, but he doesn’t press it, and he falls asleep when it’s almost daybreak. And he’s miserable, because he wants Ohno here, and he doesn’t, anyway, he just wants him here, with slow, heavy, sleepy breathing in Nino’s ear and heavy limbs tangled with his own, but Nino is an idiot and Ohno is hurt and busy. And it sucks.

On day five of silence, static, dreadful, weighty, his phone beeps, and he’s annoyed because it’s way too early for emergency calls, and it’s his day off, but then he thumbs the text open, and he scrambles out, almost falls and trips on pants and shoes and then he’s off.

Come get me.

The ride home from Ohno’s filming location is silent and Nino wants to say something, anything, to make this mess better, to fix it, but he doesn’t know how. Ohno is curled up in the passenger seat, eyes closed beneath the brim of his cap, and Nino tries to focus on the road ahead. The car isn’t really the best place to discuss the future if they have one, but when he parks the car, he’s startled when Ohno reaches for his hand. He squeezes and clears his throat, and then he says, low and scratchy, “Please don’t. Stay with me.”

And Nino loves him so much in that instant, loves Ohno for making this more important than being right, making them more important than his stubbornness, and Nino just loves him, this sweet, hopeless man.

“Don’t be stupid,” Nino chides. “I’m staying as long as you want me to.”

“Let’s move in together,” Ohno says and kisses him over the armrest. “This is as committed as I get.”

Come Christmas, they put away the last of the moving boxes. During the last taping before Christmas, Jun whispers Nino Happy Christmas and then says “Don’t break up, I don’t know if we can fix it if you’re both broken.”

Nino swears that they won’t.

*

They have known each other for so long already, they know each other so well, and they’ve been with enough other people to know what that’s like, and they inevitably arrive at the same conclusion, that yes, this is what they want, this is all they need, and they won’t need any other people in their lives until they die. They’re not stupid, foolish teenagers in love anymore, they’re not dealing with far too much love than they can handle, and they have it all under control.

Except for the fact they have no clue what the fuck they’re doing.

They’ve been settled in an apartment together, first in Nino’s and then when Nino’s lease expired, eventually a bigger place where they could both actually exist without breathing down each others’ necks, for two years and Nino loves it. Jun and Aiba mock his surprising love for domestic bliss, but Nino is convinced they’re just jealous.

To be entirely honest, Nino is surprised that they’re so solid, even after all this time, and he thinks that maybe Ohno is actively working to make sure they don’t blow up.

Which should be a good thing, Nino supposes, except for the fact that he really really won’t like it if Ohno is withholding issues or irritation on account of not wishing Nino to blow up. That thought stays with Nino for several days and he mulls it over as it gnaws away at his brain, forcing him to think about that instead of the fabulous sex they could be having. Ohno is annoyingly absent even when he’s there, because Ohno’s mind is on the huge canvas he’d found somewhere through someone’s cousin, whose sister’s brother’s aunt’s best friend’s father’s boss’ secretary’s son in law had known where to get it. Okay, so maybe Nino is exaggerating, but he had given up trying to keep track of the conversation as soon as Ohno said “canvas” and made it sound like it was better than blowjobs.

Nino is not a jealous person, he really isn’t, but Ohno brings both the best and the worst forth in him, and Nino hates it as much as he loves it.

One of Ohno’s friends, someone he’s met through one of the various art projects the TV people like to throw him in, is taking up a lot of time and space in Ohno’s life recently, if it’s from concocting vile glue to mixing just the right shade of teal and viridian (what the fuck are teal and viridian for colours anyway? Seriously, come on) then this guy has just the right answers. Nino fumes in silence for three weeks, because if Ohno can do the whole “let’s keep our issues under wraps” then Nino can as well, but Ohno doesn’t react well to passive aggressive, which is a good thing in the long run, but extremely annoying when the tactic is employed, and he just seems oblivious to the world, really.

The world Ohno lives in has walls made out of fish nets, smells like paint and resin and has weird faces staring at you when you sleep. Maybe that last bit is all Nino’s doing, but dammit, he’s feeling vengeful when it’s clear that Nino has taken a clear backseat in Ohno’s life for the moment.

And Nino isn’t used to that. Ohno has made a damn good point of always having some kind of attention on Nino, so now that he doesn’t have it, it’s disconcerting and it makes him feel extremely off kilter. It’s not that he can’t exist without Ohno, it’s not that he can’t function, it’s just that it’s really really odd and it doesn’t feel right. Ohno is the habit he just can’t kick even if he’d wanted to, and he’s never thought it’s a problem until he realizes it is.

What if they break up?

Holy fuck that’s a scary thought. And he doesn’t want to think about it, which of course only makes him think about it even more, because his brain a hyperactive place and he doesn’t want to be there at the moment, because thinking hurts when it’s about Ohno. Ohno, who is so gorgeous and so clueless about his own charms at times, and Nino is pretty sure that Ohno’s new art friend is about to make Nino’s life completely miserable by stealing Ohno right from under Nino’s nose.

Nino is not going to stand for that.

In hindsight, accusing Ohno of infidelity when he’s barely three steps into the apartment is not the smartest thing he has ever done.

“I don’t want anyone else,” Ohno shrugs, seemingly taking Nino’s accusations in a stride. His movements are sharp, though, and Nino sees the forced precision in every move, so he knows that all of Ohno’s attention is on him, fucking finally. And then Nino sees the edges of a bruise just below the sleeve of Ohno’s t-shirt, on the tender skin on the inside of the elbow, and Nino is moving before he can even begin to stop himself.

“Where did you get that?”

“We were moving some of the older canvases and one of them kept digging into my skin,” Ohno explains evenly, his eyes a touch colder now that Nino realizes he’s kind of tired of humouring Nino’s weird tendencies.

Nino’s mind catches up with everything Ohno didn’t say. “‘We’?”

Ohno gently detangles his arm from Nino’s gripping fingers and then looks back at him steadily. “Yes, we.”

Nino slowly takes his keys and puts on his shoes. “I’m going to kill him,” he says calmly.

Ohno grabs him around his shoulders just as he lunges for the door, and fuck, why is Ohno so much stronger than he seems to be? And it’s so annoying.

“Nino, stop, seriously, no, ow, stop, Kazu – ” Ohno fights to hold Nino still while Nino tries to wiggle out of Ohno’s annoying hidden super strength. When Nino almost manages to get away, Ohno tackles him to the floor. They make a spectacular spectacle of limbs on the floor where Nino tries to crawl to the door, and Ohno keeps his strong hold around Nino’s waist, and eventually, Nino is all out of breath. He collapses flat on the floor with Ohno’s tense weight pinning him down.

Their laboured breaths are the only thing Nino hears rushing in his ears for some very long moments, and then he winces. “Oh-chan, you’re heavy.”

Ohno makes some kind of annoyed noise. “Are you going to leave?”

It’s not like I can he thinks of saying, but that would probably not be the wisest move this far, so he capitulates. “No, I swear I’m going to stay here on the floor. Now get off me.”

Ohno moves cautiously, slowly, as if judging Nino’s every breath for possible escape attempts. They must look incredibly ridiculous. He snorts. Ohno’s face comes to rest in the crook of his neck and he giggles, which in turn makes Nino crack up. They laugh until they lose their breath again and then Ohno’s fingers curl loosely in the short hair on Nino’s neck.

“What is going on in your head?”

Nino heaves a large breath. “Are you sure you want to know? It’s kind of messy.”

“I only want you,” Ohno says, lips brushing against his warm skin with every soft syllable. “Why do you doubt that now? It’s been years.”

And fuck, he has to come clean, right? No way around it. “It’s you,” he starts lamely, but Ohno knows him and lets him sift through the thoughts. “I’m just… I guess you’re just all I’ve ever wanted.”

Ohno’s fingers dance just shy of Nino’s skin and he shivers. Ohno exhales sharply. “Do you have any idea how scary that is?”

Nino doesn’t know what he can possibly say to that so he just continues as if Ohno hadn’t said anything at all. “And I think about the future and sometimes it feels like you don’t think about it all, and it scares me. I just want you and I just want you forever, but I never know what you think, especially when you only talk about other guys and I’m just me, left behind here. It just feels like we have something really good going here and then I’m scared I’ll lose it.”

He’s aware that he sounds deeply unhappy by the end, and he’s slightly breathless, and oh shit, he wasn’t going to say all that, but then Ohno’s arms pull him close.

“You’re unbelievable,” Ohno whines into his skin. “Why do I have to be the reasonable one here? I thought that was you. How can you be afraid of us not breaking up? Stupid.”

Nino turns his head and is met with an eyeful of hair. He turns and fuck, the floor is really uncomfortable and his hip is digging painfully down now, but Ohno’s arms are tightening now so that’s completely fine, actually. “Are you dumping me?”

Ohno is frowning, Nino can feel his facial expression on his skin. “I can’t believe I’m the smart one in this relationship.”

“If you’re going to dump me, I’m not drunk enough, and you’re going to have to not hold me this close, because you’re giving me false hope.”

“Nino, Nino,” Ohno sighs and presses his mouth to Nino’s neck. “I’m not dumping you. I’m in love with you. Idiot.”

Nino finally slumps entirely on the floor and Ohno chuckles breathily. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to live in my brain either.”

“Nino, trust me, okay? I’m still so in love with you. I just like having someone to talk to who actually knows what I’m talking about. Besides, his wife would be very upset if he suddenly starts playing on the opposite team.”

“You could make men switch teams,” Nino says honestly and pulls back a bit to look at Ohno. Ohno really has no idea how appealing he is and how easily he breaks the limits. “But you could have mentioned that he had a wife from the beginning.”

“I did,” Ohno leans forward and nuzzles his nose into Nino’s cheek. “But as I said, you tune me out when I mention painting supplies.”

Nino grins, guilty. “Okay, I’ll try not to.”

“You don’t have to like everything I do, just don’t get so upset. Talk to me.”

“Hey, you too,” Nino pokes at Ohno’s ribs. “I seriously don’t know what you’re thinking. When you’re here, then be with me. Don’t be anywhere else, I can’t stand that.”

“So communication, huh,” Ohno muses out loud. “Let’s try that.”

Nino can’t help himself so he helps himself to the best kisses he’s had in a long time.

*

Ohno is laughing, clear and bright like silver bells, and his eyes are slits as he clutches his stomach. Aiba’s jig across the floor, only wearing a tutu, a scarf around his wrist and one of Jun’s flashier shirts wrapped around his neck, has Ohno in hysterics and Nino thinks hey, I’m stupidly in love with you. Sho is silently onlooking, trying his hardest to appear uninterested and impartial but failing when he giggles, and Jun is torn between crying in laughter and crying in horrification.

Nino just wants to taste Ohno’s laughter. It’s been one of those days where he arrives in the greenroom and Ohno’s already there from wherever he’s been on location before now, and he looks at Ohno and just can’t help but grin in a thought of oh right, I’m dating Ohno Satoshi and it’s awesome. That thought rocks his world every day and he just can’t help himself. He doesn’t need permission, or reason, to touch Ohno, so he does.

“Marry me,” he breathes and the laughter around them dies instantly. The tutu around Aiba’s waist falls flat.

“Now?” Ohno squeaks.

“Not now, we have filming in a bit, don’t be stupid,” Nino frowns. “Which reminds me, Aibaka, get dressed.”

Aiba looks indignant. “I want to hear Leader’s answer first.”

“I’m pretty interested in that myself,” Nino shoots back and returns his full attention to Ohno. “So?”

Ohno squeaks again. “Are you serious?”

“You can’t get married in Japan,” Sho remarks and Nino rolls his eyes.

“Ruin my proposal, why don’t you?”

Jun’s silence is telling Nino that he’s varying degrees of unhappy with this, but then he just throws his hands in the air in a dear god, why me?-gesture and then says, “It was more of a suggestion than a proposal, I think.”

“Okay, so,” Nino rolls his eyes again. “We can’t get married, even if it’s apparently just a suggestion, but how about spending the rest of your life with me?”

“That’s really romantic,” Jun remarks before Aiba flings the sparkly shirt at his face.

Ohno shrugs. “Why not? I’m still in love with you, you know.”

And that’s when Nino thinks oh right, I’m totally spending the rest of my life with Ohno Satoshi and it’s going to be awesome. Because who meets the love of their life at age fifteen? Ninomiya Kazunari, that’s who.

Yeah, he can totally do this one right.

*