rikke_leonhart | The Ohno Pimp Post Of Doom (Reply)

Most people who has stumbled upon my journal will have seen that a man named Ohno Satoshi appears quite often, is mentioned a lot and gets fangirled a lot.

Ohno Satoshi is incredibly sexy, smokin’ hot, adorably dorky and so cute you want to squish his cheeks (but mostly, he’s just smokin’ sexy, just saying.)

Ohno is a man of many talents – he sings amazingly, is one of the best dancers in JE, has a god-given talent for acting and he has a priceless comedic streak. He’s also kindhearted, humble and totally down to earth. And given the chance, he’d rather sit on a boat five miles from the shore than hear about himself.

To put it simply – Ohno is the definite proof that Japan has found the fountain of youth. No, really. Or maybe it’s the proof of age reverse, because this man is 30. 30. I mean it.

Ohno Satoshi was born on November 26th 1980, and what a glorious day. At that point in time, though, it was impossible to foresee just how many hearts he would capture some 15 years later. In fact, even as Ohno grew older, it was also a mystery to him how many hearts he would capture.

Ohno joined Johnny & Associates (why do we fangirls insist on calling it JE? It would be more correct to call it JA idk) in 1994, application sent in by his mother (“It’s not like they’d want you anyway,”), completely botching his audition (“YOU, stop fooling around and come to the front!”) and still managing to get accepted (“…YOU have good rhythm.”)

And so Ohno’s career was set in stone (he just didn’t know it at the time.) He was backdancer for Kinki Kids, Shounentai and various juniors during the massively popular Junior days. Ohno, however, wasn’t content. He liked to dance and he didn’t understand why some of the boys who’d joined after him, were in the spotlight while he still did backdancing. So faced with the opportunity, Ohno quit school and went to Kyoto to dance and act in Kyo To Kyo (and he brought Machida Shingo of Musical Academy along, too).

He stayed there for two years, braving homesickness, near empty halls and no recognition and no exposure.

And at the end of those two years, Ohno decided that he’d had it. He was done. He went to Johnny Himself, and said “I want to quit.”

So Johnny, smart man, convinced him to stay just a little while longer, to help out with some musicals, and Ohno stayed for just that little while longer. But he still wasn’t satisfied, and the second time he went and said “I want to quit. I mean it,” Johnny Himself knew it was time for serious business:

“YOU, help out with some recording.”

Ohno, gullible, sweet and naïve, did so. And when he got presented with the opportunity to go to Hawaii, in what he believed was his kind of farewell trip from JE, he suddenly found himself in the middle of flashing cameras, being the centre of his very own debut on September 15 in 1999.

Color Ohno surprised.

So Ohno didn’t have much of a choice, really, but the fangirls are happy. Ohno’s new all-consuming occupation was named Arashi, which he still forms with four other dudes (who shall be mentioned several times for numerous reasons ;))

Despite his wish to quit and become a baker (I kid you not) he stayed. And he also became the unwilling leader of Arashi, much to his chagrin, and all because he won a game of rock-paper-scissor against fellow bandmate Sakurai Sho. Ohno has since said and repeated himself many times: “I don’t do anything, Leader is just a nickname.”

Nickname or not; he has several - Leader, Captain, Samii (his okama alter-ego) and Oh-chan.

It seems that his bandmates beg to differ, however. They have said several times, over and over, that Arashi wouldn’t be what it is if it wasn’t for Ohno. Ohno is lovable, peaceful and he has a healing presence. That’s what they say. Jun has a habit of saying that it’s because of Ohno that they are what they are now. And isn’t that all very lovely?

Yeah, well, Jun has two reasons to say this; a) it’s the truth or b) he’s in love with Ohno. I like to believe that both are true. The truth as I see it is, that Arashi is in love with their Leader. And if not in love, then at least they love him a whole ton.

As I said, Ohno has many talents, one of them being able to look good in almost any costume JE costume department has thrown in his direction during the years. I also mentioned he has a fantastic voice, yes? Well, I mean it. He can sing off the pants of the rest of Arashi, and he’s mainly the reason why they sound good. ~~Which is why I lovingly refer to their earlier days as the days of Ohno & Friends.~~

Did I also mention that he’s smokin’ hot? Yes? Well, it can never be repeated too many times. So I’ll say it again. Ohno Satoshi is smokin’ hot.

He is hot when he stands around looking bored, and by god, he is smokin’ hot when he dances. He can twist and snap and shake those hips like you won’t believe unless I show you. And while he can sing the pants off everyone else in Arashi, he can also dance their pants off. He choreographs his own solos and occasionally some of Arashi’s. (It’s not for fun that he was chosen to be in Musical Academy, you know?)

He favors a style that is visually a bit off kilter, but it looks amazing when it’s executed well. (His style is somewhat similar to Machida’s – dig up of some of MA’s performances and you’ll see what I mean.) His dancing is best seen in his solo concert from 2006.

Another one of Ohno’s talents is art. His talent for drawing and creating stuff with his hands has been much discussed, but no matter if you like his stuff or not, you can’t deny that he has talent. That he chooses to draw somewhat obscure stuff most of the time is another matter. Personally, I don’t think that his creations are beautiful, but I still think he’s good.

And again, no matter if you like it or not, he did become the first (and as of yet, only) JE boy to hold an art exhibition. The exhibition was called Freestyle and that was in 2008. In addition to that, he released a photobook to accompany the exhibition, and the exhibition itself was such a success that Ohno packed it up and brought it around Arashi’s Dream’A’Live tour the following summer.

But that Ohno draws weird stuff isn’t that weird, really, because Ohno is a dreamer and known for saying random, weird stuff (like “I want to build a house” or “I want a chainsaw.”) However, no matter what he says, his bandmembers always end up laughing, patting his back, agreeing or smoothing over. They adore him, even if he’d rather be fishing than be planning their future.

Nino said in his letter in 2008, that even though Ohno would rather be alone, he still stays with them and supports them, keeping his steady (albeit sleepy) eyes on them. He loves Arashi that much. But Ohno is a solitary person and up until very recently, his private time was a mystery to the rest of Arashi. Now though, if he has a day off, chances are that he can be found on a boat somewhere in Tokyo Bay (probably accompanied by Shige from NEWS.)

And now I’ve mentioned fishing a couple of times – Ohno loves it, and he won’t waste a chance telling everyone about it. He unabashedly talks about which fish he wants to catch, even when everyone desperately wants him to talk about something else.

His fishing addiction is also cause of many a grey hair for the poor make-up artists, because Ohno seems to believe that he is immune to sunlight and the inevitable tan, even if he is proven otherwise time and time again. He is teased about his dark skin very frequently, and then he promises to take care of his skin, only to come back looking like a burnt panda. Oh dear.

Ohno likes to stay on the boat and sashimi the fish when he has caught them – because Ohno likes food. Ohno has a stomach of iron; it has survived several years of Aiba’s experimental cooking, including but definitely not limited to pickled strawberries, pickled eggs, coffee made of peanuts, a squid left in a sauna for 24 hours, 20 years old curry, 17 years old crab, juice made of salmon roe etc. Hhe also likes the vast majority of whatever food gets shoved down his throat.

Impressive.

Ohno is the oldest in Arashi and the last one to move out from home, and the only one not to have a driver’s license (and I suspect he was feeling really smug when all the others were told they couldn’t drive for the rest of the year hur hur, I know I did.)

Like just about every JE boy alive, Ohno acts. Before 2008, he was primarily seen on stage in plays such as West Side Story, True West, Playzone and the Pu-series. The Pu-series have practically been written to and for Ohno – he has played the lead in all four pieces, and the fourth on was written with Ohno in mind.

Bu then in the summer of 2008, in the drama Maou, he received his first drama role, and it was a lead role to boot. Ohno played the role frighteningly well, and he gained a lot of respect for his portrayal of a two-faced lawyer. Since then, he has had two full leads (Uta no Onii-san, 2009, Kaibutsu-kun, 2010) and the lead in the mini series Guests of Room 0 (2009), and most recently in Yonimo Kimyona Monogatari (2010.)

But even though Maou gave him his breakthrough and his current wave of popularity, it was also what put him up in the league of “Celebrities that can be hurt with a scandal”. Because there was one. Apparently, he’d gotten stone-faced and had a threesome several years ago.

Ohno himself denied ever smoking pot and said he couldn’t remember anything like that ever happening. JE (JA? Jfc, I confuse myself) sued the crap out of the paper that published the story. Ohno admitted to the threesome, though, which makes me giddy for some reason LOL

Personally, I don’t give a crap. It’s his life. But if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t need pot, it’s Ohno. Just saying. But if he had a threesome, then good for him. /shrugs

The end of that.

2008 was, all in all, a very busy year for Ohno and fans, like myself, just adored the extra attention and extra magazines and interviews we got out of it.

Now, even though the boy is talented like whoa, I’m convinced that he has eaten the biggest slice of humble pie he could find (he shared some of it with Arashi, though.) He is modest and humble and he is genuinely appreciative for the fans and the dedication they’re shown, the opportunities they’re given. In a program (Utaban #132) one of the hosts made fun of the fans, and Ohno scolded him and got him to stop.

He has, mostly, good manners, and that originates from his home and how he grew up; he is a total momma’s boy and he doesn’t even try to hide it. Basically – he loves his mom to death.

Another thing about Ohno is that he doesn’t mind invasion of his personal space, which is a really good thing, seeing as his bandmates have worked vigorously on reducing it for eleven years. You may find heaps of photographic evidence of one or several bandmembers crowding in his space, as well as groping whichever part of him that is nearest. He doesn’t mind, really. It could be classified as sexual harassment, but Ohno probably just thinks it means they like him. And then we’re right back to my hypothesis that they all love him to bits and pieces.

One member Ohno explicitly states that he loves back is Nino. The snarky brat.Together, they have the comedy skit of utter crack, Ohmiya SK. Nino enjoys teasing Ohno, undressing Ohno, kissing Ohno again and again and again, groping Ohno, annoy Ohno, help Ohno and use him as a human pillow. I think it’s safe to say that the brat loves him right back.

Hmm, what is left to say?

Ohno doesn’t talk all that much, usually only when prompted, and when he does, he mumbles (which he also gets teased about.) Doesn’t talk unless spoken to. Ohno dislikes the spotlight, which in my opinion only adds to his appeal.

His laugh is high-pitched and really adorable. He is super easy to hypnotize (DnA #073)

He is also one of those annoying people who can do just about everything if he wants to. And he has beautiful hands. Really.

He’s cute. Is squishy. Is smokin’ hot. And looks really good in a kimono. And he looks good wet.

…and he also can’t seem to get rid of a cross dresser that follows him *cough*Babako-san*cough*.

And he’s 30. THIRTY. Wth.

Happy birthday!

I would like to upload a shitload of must see/must hear stuff, but as youtube has a habit of deleting my stuff, and that ~~just about all~~ most uploading sites hate my guts, I’ll leave you with a link to a journal that is a must in every Ohno fangirl’s memories.

Here at the end, I can only tell you to seriously watch his stuff. Listen to his voice. Appreciate him, because he’s worth it!

Song For Me
Rain
Take Me Faraway
Shizuka no Yori ni
Ready To Fly

All that's left to say is... go visit ohno_daily and join the flail!