rikke_leonhart (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rikke_leonhart) wrote2012-08-17 10:29 am
rikke_leonhart) wrote2012-08-17 10:29 am
Entry tags:
ATTENTION, AUFMERKSAMKEIT
Calling ALL writers and readers - no matter if you've written 10 words or three million, no matter if you write fic or original pieces - please read this!
Why do you write?
Such a loaded question, isn't it, and rather abrupt, too, my apologies. I've been wondering about this for a very long time, though, because in every fandom I've been in (and I've been in fandoms for almost fifteen years now, goodness!), there are always some writers that say they will only update if they get reviews. And I'm genuinely curious, because that is not how it works for me, it's really very different.
Basically, I write for myself. I write because I love writing, because it's therapeutic in so many ways, and because it's a way to let out a lot of things. I write because I enjoy words, more so when they're in written form, and people who know me, knows that I much prefer the written word to the spoken. I'm very confused as to why it should be necessary to incite bribery when posting fics, and I've encountered this particular set of words in every single fandom:
"I will update/write faster if you review/comment!"
But why?
I guess fundamentally I'm confused about it because I never (with two exceptions) start posting something that isn't finished. I loathe it, because I know myself well enough to be aware of the fact that sometimes, I just lose interest in writing fics, no matter how enthusiastic I might've been initially. Sometimes I write ten thousand words during the course of a weekend and I know I only need a few more to be finished, but I still don't finish because I lose interest. This is why I don't post WIPs. Once burned, twice shy? Yes, I guess it's a case of that, I still have a fic up in a fandom - I never finished it, but I loved the plot, I still love the plot to bits and pieces, there are seldom a day where I don't at least think of it, sometimes with "I could do this..." or "Ah, yes, That."
So, do people actually write faster if they get a good response to their fics? Because I got a good response to that particular fic (I can't imagine why, that fic was a hot mess /laughs), and I still didn't manage to finish it. I remember back in 2008 when I wrote Bonfires during the course of fourteen days, and it was finished, done, complete, so when I started posting, I updated once every day for fourteen days. For reasons, people loved it, and I am so infinitely grateful for that, but I would have posted a chapter every day regardless of whether or not people actually liked it. I am quite the stubborn thing and I'm also a rather contrary fucker, so if people hadn't liked it, I'd probably have posted just because I could.
But how does it work for you?
I'm not saying that comments don't mean anything to me, because that's not true. I'm so very happy and extremely grateful for each and every comment I get even if I don't always manage to answer them in a timely fashion. I'm happy that my fics are generally well-received, thank you <3. I'm just saying that I would write regardless of comments or not. Ultimately, I write for myself and I intend to keep doing just that because it makes me happy. This is why some of my fics are locked, because there are some of my fics I don't want to share with everyone, because some of them are more personal than others.
So my initial question stands:
Why do you write?
(On another only remotely related note - I've noticed someone saying that fandom is in a vicious cycle: writers want comments but fewer people comment = fewer fics, but commenters want more fics?)
Why do you write?
Such a loaded question, isn't it, and rather abrupt, too, my apologies. I've been wondering about this for a very long time, though, because in every fandom I've been in (and I've been in fandoms for almost fifteen years now, goodness!), there are always some writers that say they will only update if they get reviews. And I'm genuinely curious, because that is not how it works for me, it's really very different.
Basically, I write for myself. I write because I love writing, because it's therapeutic in so many ways, and because it's a way to let out a lot of things. I write because I enjoy words, more so when they're in written form, and people who know me, knows that I much prefer the written word to the spoken. I'm very confused as to why it should be necessary to incite bribery when posting fics, and I've encountered this particular set of words in every single fandom:
"I will update/write faster if you review/comment!"
But why?
I guess fundamentally I'm confused about it because I never (with two exceptions) start posting something that isn't finished. I loathe it, because I know myself well enough to be aware of the fact that sometimes, I just lose interest in writing fics, no matter how enthusiastic I might've been initially. Sometimes I write ten thousand words during the course of a weekend and I know I only need a few more to be finished, but I still don't finish because I lose interest. This is why I don't post WIPs. Once burned, twice shy? Yes, I guess it's a case of that, I still have a fic up in a fandom - I never finished it, but I loved the plot, I still love the plot to bits and pieces, there are seldom a day where I don't at least think of it, sometimes with "I could do this..." or "Ah, yes, That."
So, do people actually write faster if they get a good response to their fics? Because I got a good response to that particular fic (I can't imagine why, that fic was a hot mess /laughs), and I still didn't manage to finish it. I remember back in 2008 when I wrote Bonfires during the course of fourteen days, and it was finished, done, complete, so when I started posting, I updated once every day for fourteen days. For reasons, people loved it, and I am so infinitely grateful for that, but I would have posted a chapter every day regardless of whether or not people actually liked it. I am quite the stubborn thing and I'm also a rather contrary fucker, so if people hadn't liked it, I'd probably have posted just because I could.
But how does it work for you?
I'm not saying that comments don't mean anything to me, because that's not true. I'm so very happy and extremely grateful for each and every comment I get even if I don't always manage to answer them in a timely fashion. I'm happy that my fics are generally well-received, thank you <3. I'm just saying that I would write regardless of comments or not. Ultimately, I write for myself and I intend to keep doing just that because it makes me happy. This is why some of my fics are locked, because there are some of my fics I don't want to share with everyone, because some of them are more personal than others.
So my initial question stands:
Why do you write?
(On another only remotely related note - I've noticed someone saying that fandom is in a vicious cycle: writers want comments but fewer people comment = fewer fics, but commenters want more fics?)
no subject
(On another only remotely related note - I've noticed someone saying that fandom is in a vicious cycle: writers want comments but fewer people comment = fewer fics, but commenters want more fics?)
no subject
why i write - part 1
I don't do the whole "if you review, i will write more" spiel. If you look at my writing comm, I don't get reviews for all my fics. In fact, 3/4 of the writings there don't have reviews at all. Some have told me that this is:
- because my writings are too long to plough through;
- because the "typos and spelling errors" detract from their enjoyment and/or understanding (these are the same people will jump on the word "plough" as an instance of the typos and spelling errors littering my writing);
- because the language is too difficult to understand;
- because they take too seriously the ironic things in my narrative and think I mean them seriously;
- because of the long narrative style
- because of the long paras (these are folks who believe one para should have no more than 5 sentences tops)
- because there's no action from the beginning to the end
- because there's no continual dialogue from beginning to the end
- because the dialogue is interspersed with what the characters do or look or seem to be thinking
- because lack of action and having dialogue interspersed with characters' thoughts/expressions are a case of "telling" the reader instead of "showing" the reader. And any writing that does that is automatically bad.
- because they think "good writing" should be something "universally understood" and "universally enjoyed" like the godawful Twilight books and shudderingly [fill in unflattering adjective of choice] Shades of grey;
- because of the lack of of smut and NC-17 rated shenanigans
- because too much is packed into my writings and they don't know what they're reading and don't know what the devil they're reading
tbc
why i write - part 2
- because they constantly need to take time to search dictionaries and wikipedia for help. this detracts from their reading flow, and hence their enjoyment/understanding of the writing
- because they are required to think when they read; and it's just too pretentious on my part to make them do such a thing when writings should be simple, to the point, enjoyable and allow them to escape from the exhaustion they've endured at work/school/life
- because the characters and situations are too close to home for readers. apparently, this makes me a bad writer for reminding them of such things instead of helping them to escape like good writers should
- because the characters and situations are too unrealistic. apparently, everything should be happy in lalaland, and things like hatred/blind prejudice/draconian systems/ animosity between family members are "unrealistic" and sane/sensible readers can't relate to them.
- because i have author's notes. apparently, this means i'm long windered and patronising for assuming readers haven't read the fic warnings, summary, pairings etc
- because i don't have author's notes in all fics. apparently, this means i'm arrogantly assuming readers will not skip the summary, fic warnings, pairings warnings etc. and if readers go, "but you didn't warn us that XYZ would be triggering. you traumatised me", it would be my fault entirely.
- because i tell them to search online and/or wiki and online dictionaries themselves when they ask me things. apparently, this means i'm arrogant and not willing to enter into dialogue with my readers
- because of the end notes I sometimes include, apparently, this means i'm an arrogantly condescending swine who assumes people don't know how to think or look up stuff on wikipedia/online
- because of the lack of end notes explaining things. apparently, this means i'm an arrogant snob who assumes everyone knows what i know
- because i don't put my writings and me "out there" to the notice of the public fandom. according to these people, the good fandom folks far out number the rotten fandom apples. according to these people, if i put myself out there, the good will outweigh the bad, and voila - there will be many good reviews or people saying "thank you for sharing" that i'll be too busy basking in this to worry about the flamers/wankers/trolls.
Some people have actually asked me why I have working titles when an actual title will suffice. And they're baffled that I only come up with a title at the very end, when I finish writing the story. Just like they're baffled why I need a working title when i can call it "fic WIP". Well, tough luck, as a ghostwriter, I have projects and I like to differentiate them by different names, and if the name I pick happens to be a "makeshift" one, so be it. It's my writing, my thought processes - I can damn well do what I want with it.
why i write - part 3
My principle, as i wrote on the rules page of my comm, is that I only post when i can complete something to the end and write "finis" at the end. i plan my writings like i would any piece of writing (academic or otherwise) - thematically, structurally, what happens roughly in which chapter and who does what to whom and why. it helps me to keep track of what's going on and where to insert things. It helps me to keep things consistent. But apparently, i discovered that this is not the 'usual' way that writers should do things. I put it to them - how do they know how what "normal writers" do or don't anyway? besides, these same proponents of authors posting WIPs will be the first to flame/wank the authors if they decide they can't continue writing and leave the story dangling. I have seen it happen before. Either way, it seems:
- you're damned if you post WIP that you can only finish after many years (because readers will lambast you for keeping them on their toes till they have forgot the plot etc),
- damned if you decide you can't finish a WIP after posting/writing halfway (because readers will lambast you for giving them false hope and leading them and keeping them dangling), and
- damned if you wait till writing is complete before posting. this is because you will be lambasted for posting once a week instead of the whole story at once. or if you post the whole story at once, you will be lambasted for flooding their f-list. or you will be lambasted simply because everyone else is doing WIP and you're not)
Whatever happens, there will pockets who will be dissatisfied with whichever. This has been what i have observed in many fandoms over the years.
as for me, I write because I want to; because I have something to say. I couch the things I want to say about society, humanity, life etc in a fic with characters people think they know/recognise and can identify with, so as to render the things I want to say palatable. This, coupled with the reasons above, does not earn me reviews, and I honestly can say, I don't really care about reviews. I don't believe in emotionally/mentally blackmailing readers with "if you don't comment/review, i will not update." Because let's face it, readers and fandom are made up of fickle people. the bottom line is that if you make good the threat not to update at the lack reviews/comments, they will drop your story and move on to someone else's with more sparkle, more smut, more regular updates, and giving them more of what they want.
This is just my take on it. Experiences and opinions herein are entirely my own.
Re: why i write - part 4
moreover, writing solely for the sake of reviews/comments shows a want of firmness in one's character. this is my opinion and many will disagree with me. My reason for this based on that which someone (my Shakespearean beta/prelim reader for my HP problem play) told me - if there are no reviews/comments to a fic or only 1or 2 comments to a fic, most of fandom will ignore that fic/story completely. this is because they assume the fic/story is so abysmally bad that even folks who will normally not hesitate to flame/wank/lambast a bad fic can't bring themselves to flame/wank/lambast it. as a result of this assumption, some good fics are ignored and unread. If the author of such a fic with good characterisation, good plot, good narrative style, good grammar, good everything is dependent on comments/reviews for motivation, then he/she will be disappointed because no one will review/comment. And they will stop writing, and fandom will be so much poorer without them. i have seen good authors disappear because of this, and when I ask them what happened to the promising fic/story, they tell me that they assume (from the 0-2 reviews/comments they get) their work and they are so bad that no one wants to read them; and since that is the consensus (or so they believe), they will cease to inflict themselves on fandom.
even if writers are hypothetically spurred on to continue writing a fic or to churn it out faster because of numerous rave reviews, this is no guarantee as to the quality of the fic/plot.
even if writers are hypothetically spurred on to continue writing a fic or to churn it out faster because of numerous rave reviews, this is no guarantee that the many rave reviews will continue. my reasons are as follows:
- there will always be some readers who want action, action, action and if your fic slows down plot-wise, they will drop it. this will lead to reduction to of reviews.
- there will always be some who drop the fic for something newer, shinier, sleeker, smuttier, and they will drop the fic. this will also lead to dearth of reviews.
- there will also be some readers who suddenly decide that they don't like what you're doing to the plot/character, and they will drop the fic. Some of these will even flame/wank on you and your fic continually.
If the above happens, then you will have very reduced number of reviews. Will the author dependent on reviews continue writing for the handful left still reading it? In my experience, only a few authors will. this is because they are bogged down by self-doubt that they and their writing suck and it will not be fair to inflict themselves on fandom/their readers.
why i write - part 5
having said as much, this "review and i'll write faster and/or more" spiel gives rise to an interesting question --
are these authors writing solely to get as many reviews as possible, regardless as to whether these are simple "thank for writing" comments, flames/wank/lambasting, "omg, that's so cute" comments?
or do these authors write solely for good reviews, full stop? and if they get bad reviews, they stop completely.
what happens if these authors get many, many reviews but the bulk of them are useless comments. by this, i mean comments that go "omg, so cute! write moar. update soon". these are commenters/reviewers who will go "omg omg, so cute! write moar. update soon" for every single chapter till it is a farce, e.g.
- ch 5 sexual tension between hero and heroine --> 80 percent of comments go "omg, so cute! write moar. update soon".
- ch 6 heroine's father dies and she is cast out without a penny and is upset --> 80 percent of comments go "omg, so cute! write moar. update soon".
- ch 7 heroine struggles to overcome hardship --> 80 percent of comments go "omg, so cute! write moar. update soon".
- ch8 bad guy abducts heroine and tries to assault her in more ways than one --> 80 percent of comments go "omg, so cute! write moar. update soon".
i wish i was exaggerating. but I know a writer in the jane austen and bronte fandom who always gets many comments like this. this author is not the "review and i will write more and/or faster" type. But if she were, would she feel spurred on/motivated to write more and faster if such comments form 80% of her reviews? Or would she feel like her readers are only commenting without reading the chapter and without paying heed to the ploy simply because she has asked them to do through her "review and i will continue to write" claim? would a writer in this situation still want as many reviews as possible if they are all this type of comments that possibly indicate the reader does not pay attention to their writing and plot? Would a writer in this situation still want to write after realising this, despite the numerous number of reviews? This will be a matter of conjecture as many authors have different reviews about it.
for me, if a reader is going to go "omg, so cute. write moaaar!!!! update soon!!!" in every single chapter regardless as to the plot, then i rather they either stick to a "thanks for sharing" or not comment at all. i mean, it is farcical say a chapter where an abduction happens is "cute" and you want "more" of it. just like it is farcical to declare a chapter where the heroine is down and out and in despair to be "cute" and that you want "more of it. But yet, reviewers like this exist. And there are a lot of them. so if 80% of your reviews are like this... it's not very motivating. and the author will feel listless and they might stop writing the story altogether.
* sorry for editing so many times :p
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But thank you so much for that elaborate answer, that was very interesting to read. I also do apologize for not coming up with that kind of a eloquent answer, but my brain is a bit fried from the sun today. I hope I'll get back to this as soon as possible!
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Address them and they will be spurred on to bother you some more.
As a result, I just ignore them. XD
Many of the things in my reply are things I have observed too in different fandoms. Though having my prelim readers telling me in detail why my fics don't have reviews is so farcical on so many levels. Are they saying as prelim readers they are bored with my fics because of all the reasons listed above and if they werent my prelim readers, they will assume the fic is bad and not read it? it boggles the mind.
but whatever.
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But, to be honest, I'm always posting unfinished stuff. Everytime I'm telling me to first finish a story before posting, but I never manage it :') It's because when I write and when I'm confident of the plot, I want to show it to everyone as soon as possible. But I'm still trying. And after reading your post I'm going to try even more *laughs*
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I'm just curious - I hate posting unfinished fics. Don't you get nervous whether or not you'll finish? I'm also very protective of my fics and plots that I don't want anyone to see them before I know how everything is when it's done!
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No, I don't get nervous. Because when I start posting I'm sure that I'm going to finish the story. The only thing that really annoys me is that sometimes my readers have to wait some time for updates. When that happens I'm always telling me to not post the next fic before it's finished. But well, the thing with resolutions. I'm still trying, though :)
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So ok I guess it starts from where I was probably able to talk or something, so let's call it early childhood, and ask my parents, they'll tell you me & my bro could spend days on end inventing gigantic stories about kingdoms and wild beasts and sometimes it was robots and ghosts and we would never get enough of it.
I've liked daydreaming since I can remember, daydreaming is what relaxes me. It turns out my imagination can go really out of control (ie hello claustrophobia/paranoïa) and so I've been told sometimes I need to tone it down a bit. I love being creative, you see, hence why I've drawn a lot despite my lack of talent, but I've made up for it with a bit of practice and work here and there.
When I got into my first fandom, which was an obscure French one, CCS, I started reading some fics because the simple concept of just being able to continue the story after it's clearly been said "the end", for me, was mind blowing. Literally. I've spent days of my life just imagining what happened to my favourite characters in books, comics, cartoons, movies, etc. I love it.
So I started reading a girl's fic, and it turns out that girl was Ishi, and damn, that girl was talented even when she was 13. So I commented, and then we talked a bit, and I told her about scenarios that popped into my mind, stuff like that. She said "why don't you write them down?" and I was "well I'm not a writer" and she said "you don't know that, try it; and I'll help you out, I'll read over and correct if you need me too". Honestly it was super nice of her, and so I did, I wrote my first fic. I thought "nobody's going to read that, but I can write down all the things that go through my mind during the day and try to structure them on a word doc." I sent her the first two chapters, and it was a mad mad story, clearly I'd been thinking about this a lot. She corrected them, gave me some directions; she said she really liked it, wanted to see more. I thought "woah, that's actually nice!" and then she said "you should post it online" and at first I didn't want to. This was for me to read when I wanted to think about that story I daydreamed about, but in the end she convinced me. And people commented, and people liked it, and I was really taken aback. I continued it because I wanted to see what was going to happen; where would my mind take me this time. I never finished it, btw :'D I wrote other stuff, some that I finished. I discovered I was much better at one-shots because my concentration and interest faded quite quickly.
Eventually I kept writing, but mostly for myself. Something went through my mind? I wrote it down and kept it in a word doc, gave it a title, or some sort of temporary one. Sometimes I went back and looked and thought "I can continue that." or "meh".
I think I just tried to keep track of things.
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Since then I can sometimes write a whole thing when my mind suddenly gets some inspiration, and I feel up to writing it. I feel I am very limited by my writing skills, though, because even though I've always loved to write, I'm not talented. Reading a shitload really helped me; if I love daydreaming, I adore reading. So when I feel I need to write something, it takes some effort (with sometimes some exceptions, like that Never Never piece I wrote, the writing process was really smooth) and eventually I just feel it's not good enough. And if it's not good enough to my eyes, then I can't show it to anyone. The only reason I share my fics in the first place is because #1 I want to share something I made and liked and feel proud of; an achievement of sorts. #2 It's made for someone I care for, and I feel it's worthy enough for that person.
So there. The only reason I write is purely because my imagination can overload my brain and I need to let it out, somehow. I'm no good with deadlines, I have no focus whatsoever and I don't want to share my most private pieces of writing since I'm some sort of porcupine when it comes to people seeing me hurt. I'm not a very word-y person, like I know you are. In the recent years, though, one thing that inspired me to write more is reading authors that are so talented you're just immersed in the fic, you're with the characters and you just feel for them and it does something to you. Maybe that's my vivid imagination right there, but I think if I ever managed to do that, if only just once, it would feel like one damn achievement, right there. My ego being so large, it shouldn't be very surprising that this has become a goal of mine.
I won't praise your fics because this isn't the point of this comment, but you know your fics manage to do that (for me anyway).
I don't know if that helps at all, I just felt like sharing :'D.
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YES, ACTUALLY. THIS EXACTLY. THIS EXAAAAACTLY.
When I finished the Sailor Moon anime, I read the manga in full, then rewatched the (almost) entire anime again, because I didn't want it to end.
AND THEN, BEHOLD. BEHIND THE GREEN CURTAIN I FOUND FANDOM.
/waves from behind green curtain
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I love comments and I do drop some comments but only to a certain writers just because. I also have to admit that I am not that good of reader because sometimes I wrote the comments just to let the writers know that I appreciate their works. I don't really comment on the content, the words, the writings, because I personally think that the writers know better than I do and I have no right to be judgmental. That's why by saying thank you to the writers is enough for me to show my gratitude.
I know some writers who is got really mad because of not getting the 'right' comment for their fics and I still don't understand why they did that. That's why I only drop comments on a very particular writers who is fair enough on judging their reader's comment.
I kind of stop writing publicly (still writing but keep the work for myself) because I am too busy with works and I spent most of my free time doing other things that I like and I don't feel guilty because I write when I wanted to.
This is so out of topics but I really do LOVE (see, all capitals XD) your writings but then again I didn't say this just because I want you to write faster and posting it soon. I am saying this because yours are worth to celebrate and thank you for the always beautiful fluffy sexy (did I just said sexy, oh sorry) OhMiya.
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For me, though, fan fiction was a split between two things: something I found missing or curious in the canon material that I wanted to explore via writing, and a way to connect with fans of that same material. Reviews made me happy, but the one time I let them influence a fic I was writing I ended up hating it. They make it easier to get through writer's block, because I know someone out there has as much of a vested interest in this tale I'm writing as I do, but they aren't what make me write--they just validate what I'm already writing. But I always feel like I'm in a more collaborative environment when I'm writing fan fic--although admittedly I haven't written any in about 4 years.
For original work, though, I prefer writing completely for myself. I hate the idea of someone I know reading into what I'm writing, trying to find pieces of "me" in my original fiction. I really write it because the ideas are niggling and I need to get them out. Original fiction feels more like a solitary process, not something I necessarily need feedback for. (Agggh workshopping, such a terrible experience.) If someone does happen to read it and like it, woohoo great for them, but it's never anything that gives me a sense of "this was worth it" because it's always worth it for me, even writing just scraps.
Hope that makes sense. >,
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Comments don't really matter to me because, hey I only write one shots, very short ones at that, (and I love the idea of an exact 100, 150, or even 50 words. It's quite a challenge to hit a particular number. A bit traditionalist I guess) that usually flies under the radar. So I don't really expect any.
However, that being said. The few fic I've written, I've been very privileged to have wonderful reviews. It does feel good when someone stops to say ... whatever they have to say. And really I have had some really nice words said about my fics, and I've even made some lasting friendships from the back and forth that has come from fic writing and reading. *showers you in sparkly love*
The other reason I write is to challenge myself. To ask myself ... now what story can I tell today. What can I make the characters do and what words can I use. I derive a joy in using words. The everyday ones, and the new ones and even made up ones. I love entering writing challenges, (sometimes I pick up prompts from challenges and write them, just to see if I can, but not necessarily to post) There is a joy in being given a word, or situation, or word limit or time constraint. Or a grammatical challenge. A long time ago I used to belong to a ficboard forum which gave out bi-monthly challenges. Write totally in first person, or only in present tense, or write by taking out all the adverbs. They were fun to do, and obviously I had a little more time on my hands than I do now.
I would like one day to return to fic writing, and be able to fangirl. Ahhh I shall have to wait patiently I think.
Love hugs n stuff!
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So I definitely agree with your sentiments, writing is very personal. I won’t pretend that it makes me happy to find that readers appreciate what I write – I was definitely floored at first, especially when it came to this fandom, at the relative generosity I’m on the receiving end of when it comes to comments and feedback. I think one can easily get wrapped up in all that, but I will still never understand how for some people, the comments are actually the impetus for writing. I don’t get the joy and satisfaction to be had in that, if you don't enjoy the writing itself first and foremost. It's motivational, of course, but I hardly think that's enough to keep you going, and if it does, wouldn't a little part of what you're writing lose its soul?
Sometimes I write ten thousand words during the course of a weekend and I know I only need a few more to be finished, but I still don't finish because I lose interest.
THIS. And also, I don't post unfinished works as well. I don't know, to me, it feels like unnecessary added vulnerability and I want full control of what I release, because it's mine. I want to know the full shape of the work I'm doing and if it's not done, I can't even bear the thought of anyone else seeing it. Maybe it's different for other people, maybe comments really rev up their creative juices and they want their work to grow alongside the feedback democratically and organically - but god, just the thought of sharing unfinished work, on my part, scares me to death. Even if it takes me arduous several weeks of writing just a couple of sentences everyday, or months of just setting it aside and deciding to come back to it when I'm ready - I will wait until I'm completely satisfied with it until I share it and finish it on my terms. I love, love comments just as much as the next person (especially when people see things in your writing that you yourself didn't), but in the end, it's just icing on the cake. When it comes to fan fiction, the absolute best part for me is actually finishing something and seeing it in all its LJ-posted glory. I love the finality of it and for me, it's always a triumph just to merely have been able to finish it and post it.
I am quite the stubborn thing and I'm also a rather contrary fucker, so if people hadn't liked it, I'd probably have posted just because I could.
So basically, that absolutely tickled me, and YES.
fandom is in a vicious cycle: writers want comments but fewer people comment = fewer fics, but commenters want more fics
There is a nugget of truth in that but I don't know. I just like to think that the writers who are worth waiting for and really deliver, in terms of quality and feeling, don't care about the comments and do it because they love doing it. Personally speaking, I probably wouldn't want to read anyone who does it for the comments, anyway.
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there is a scene playing inside of my head, and i feel the need to describe them in words. sometimes i can add, twist the plot, some other time the scene stays as it is. while getting review is a wonderful thing, it doesn't really get to me like i can write faster and the plot comes out easier for my head. i am stubborn just like my writing is.
i am also not that really a good writer, i don't do deadline most of the time, i lack the concentration to write one long fic and sometimes it takes me like years before i can finish a whole story, i have problem expressing some feelings with words and grammar has always been my enemy, but there's always a sense of satisfaction when i finished what i've written. sometimes i feel the need to share them, but some other time i keep them with me, because they are my babies.
and i adore reading, though, shamelessly i have always been a silent one. i only comment when there is an urge to let the writer know that their writing affect me, in a way, and they (from my perspective) ought to know that.
anyway, to answer your question: i write because i want to write.
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Why do I write? Let us start from the beginning.
My first fic was in Sailor Moon fandom. I may have told you this before, but I can't quite remember. Anyhow, most of the fics in that fandom were from the first arc, where Usagi and Mamoru meet, are enemies, then fall in love. Every. Single. Time. I wrote fic because I wanted to write something different, something new. At that time, I wanted other people to see that the Sailor Moon universe was nearly infinite and there were so many possibilities, and people ought to explore the world a bit more.
When people commented, yes, I did end up writing more.
But after a little while, it felt like a pressure. A chore. And I ended up starting a second story to distract myself from the expectations that were waiting for me from my first fic. And then THAT fic started getting comments, and alerts (ff.net, yo), and requests for more, and I couldn't do it. I updated the first story nearly a year after its inception, but I couldn't continue. I haven't touched it since.
Now, Arashi. My first Arashi fic was... nearly two years ago, I believe. I wrote it because I had an idea (Ohno sketching a tiny Nino in a GANTZ suit) and I wanted to expand it. I wanted to read the scenes I had written, and giggle to myself over the images in my head. I posted it, and a few people liked it.
As you also know, I'm a stickler for acceptance. I crave it from nearly everyone I meet, regardless the circumstances. And writing is no different. It pretty much feels like, I want people to like me, so I write some fic. They end up liking fic, which obviously means they must like me, too. This is not how it works, I'm well aware. But for a while, I wrote so that people would like me.
Lately, I've been writing for me, an entirely alien concept. Squickfic was the beginning; I liked the idea of planning a fic, thinking out elaborate back stories for each character, and knowing that I could contort the plot any way I please. Knowing that I could keep some secrets in it for myself felt amazing, not unlike keeping the romance in a marriage. The whole process was a challenge, and I found that I enjoyed that. Next came Nino Exchange, and you know how that went!
So, pretty much, I'm back where I began, in Arashi fandom, at least. I have an idea, I want to know what it'll look like, so I write it.
For me ♥